Results Week 5

By the White Maggot

 New teams, Bartenders and the Lost Boys, met for the 2^nd time this season to kick off Ausball for the week. Much has changed since the beginning of the season when they last met after both teams had conducted vigorous winter training camps. Scooter, the Bartenders invisible coach, has stuck to his mantra that the team plays better without him and was once again hiding in the bushes trying to find a flaw in the Lost Boys game plan.

 Dan, an avid student of opposition coaching methods, was also nowhere to be seen and thus the battle of two great strategic minds would be waged from the luxury superboxes of their own living rooms. With such an emphasis on each others teams, it’s no surprise that the game was a tight, low scoring affair with the Bartenders eventually coming away with a 3 point victory.

 After receiving his Azuma sportsman of the week cleats, Bob from the Bohemenians went on a goal kicking rampage, booting a record 6 majors as the Irish pulled away from a feisty Crows team in the second half of a high scoring affair.

 Over in Federal Hill, the Ausholes were marveling at the awesome seats they had as Joses piled on 5 unanswered goals. They couldn’t believe just how close they were to the action! Having mistaken the first half for the warm up, they came out in the second and outscored Joses with some fine Ausball. Upon realizing they hadn’t set any goals for themselves they retroactively set themselves the goal of kicking the most points in the second half. Later, confusion would reign as a heated debate broke out as to whether they’d achieved this week’s goal.

 The Eagles and Majerks game was a fast paced affair with some brilliant play from both sides. Kelly, back from 2 weeks of talks with the Women’s International Monopoly of Professional Ausballers (WIMPA), would prove the difference with her 3 goals as Majerks ran away from the Eagles who predominantly finished off their good play with minor scores.