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Joses East have made a stunning come from behind victory to take out the Canton Championship, running all over the entertaining Bartenders in the 2^nd half. 

Controversy abounded before the 1^st bounce as the officials debated what sort of penalty would be applied against Joses for Coach Salansky’s deliberate delay of game tactics. The history teachers on Joses were quick to point out however that it has never taken their spiritual leader less than 30 minutes to put on his cleats. So we waited…………and waited………

 

Sporting bright gold headbands to compliment their Vegas Gold jerseys, Bartenders got off to a magnificent start once play finally got under way. Jason scored the 1^st goal within 30 seconds before the Tender’s dynamic duo of Eileen & Judith started giving their female opponents the run around. Midway through the half they had 19 points on the board while Joses had yet to bother the phantom scoreboard operator (who hadn’t “bothered” to register any of Bartenders points either).

 

There was plenty of good old fashioned Aussie sledging going on but someone had forgotten to tell the team in red that it is supposed to be at the opposition team, not at each other. Things were falling apart quickly for the wannabe Mexicans east of the north of the south of the border.

 

Then coach Salansky, who claims that tactics and organization “are for the birds”, made the move that may yet define his career by putting big Ryan as a loose man in defense to curb the rampant Tenders forwards. He had an immediate impact courtesy of the White Maggot who obviously threw his rule book the way of his customary white uniform, allowing the big fella to take a huge mark over 4 women. Matching his new uniform, maybe the orange glare of the setting sun got in his eyes?

 

Leah, sick of copping a spray from her teammates, followed up out of defense and kicked the 1^st major for Joses. 2 goals each to both teams had Bartenders up by 8 points going into the break. The Mexican wannabes had stopped sniping at each other and had begun working as a unit, getting themselves back into the game.

 

According to the school of Brainiacs of Lower Latvia, it takes 30 minutes of pressure on the pyramidal tract of the brain to render a super athlete to that of a mere mortal (or your average Ausball player). Although we don’t believe any testing was going on, we can vouch for it’s accuracy as the Bartenders were a completely different team after half time. There was no run or talk, zone or zip. No handballs to themselves or 10 second, 3 possession goals the length of the ground. There was just those……… yellow headbands

 

Joses ran, shared the ball and goalkicking around, kicking 6 goals to 1 in the second half to run out 25 point winners, but who was it that gave the Bartenders the yellow headbands. Who could have hatched such a devious plan?

 

Is Coach Salansky a genius, disguised as an Elementary PE teacher who regularly slaughters the few brain cells he has bartending? Has his 30 minute cleat routine been a part of a master plan all along? How could a team of scientists and doctors not know that pressure on the pyramidal tract numbs athletic ability? How could they be such great athletes in the 1^st place?

 

Ahh Ausball, it just continues to throw up controversy, intrigue and innuendo. Why would you ever stay home on a Wednesday night to watch Gossip Girl? (will the real Dan Carr please stand up?)

Congrats to all Canton teams on a really fun season. Hopefully we'll continue to see you at Bartenders and in the Fall.